Side Talk

Dear Blonde, Wisconsin Witch,

     I just wanted to respond to the obvious rant you were giving me through two car windows driving 70+mph down the highway.  Is it my fault you don’t know how to plan better than to drive through major metro areas during traffic time?  I DO NOT have to move over when I am about to over take a semi or any other vehicle especially when I am doing at least the posted speed limit.   I DO NOT have to inconvenience myself so that your husband can break the law.  I DO NOT have to get stuck behind slower moving vehicles with rapidly approaching storms because you feel more entitled to reach where you are going first.  Learn to drive, learn how to obey the law, and learn to control your temper over your own impatience.

Stuff It,

Me

Muzzle Up

I’m sure you all have been told or at least heard someone say if you don’t be quiet they were going to get you a muzzle.  Muzzles aren’t for keeping things quiet, it keeps them from biting.  Try it, keeping your teeth together, you can still talk.  So go ahead, get a muzzle, I’ll bet you get a few bites before you get it on and I bet anything said afterward can hurt a lot worse than a few teeth marks…

The Radiation is Coming, The Radiation is Coming!

Every where you look in the last couple of weeks everyone seems to be freaking out about the radiation.  They found it in California, which isn’t exactly a surprise, but now they say they found it in Massachusetts and some southern states.  Now here is my question, who was measuring it in all these places regularly before the crisis in Japan?  And if it has reached all the way to the east coast how come they didn’t detect it in the 32 states in between the 2 coasts?  I can only help but to think this is all a ploy to get people to freak out and watch the news.  How do they know it’s coming from Japan?  Last I knew you couldn’t brand it so you know who if belongs to later…

10 Lbs of Stuff in a 5 Lb Bag

Dear Manwich People,

     I was recently viewing one of your commercials, the one with the little boy(?) sitting in a Manwich suit talking to his dad about why he is in a play about vegetables,  and all in all it was very cute.  I did notice one glaring error though.  In your fine print, (yes I actually read that) it states 1/4 cup of Manwich has 1/2 cup of vegetables and  I must point out  that this is impossible.  Obviously you are using a cup as a volume measurement, and  half of one doesn’t fit inside a quarter of a one.  What I am thinking  is you may want to pay part of the millions you spend on national commercials to a fine print proof reader.  Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Me

Little White Lines

There are reasons those heavy white lines are painted at intersections.  One being to save the front end of your car, that is of course when people aren’t turning through your lane themselves…  Another is so people can see around you, not that with the era of monster trucks, (oh excuse me, SUVs) this makes a difference…  And the last one I can think of right now is in the case of pressure sensitive lights, you know the ones that change color because there is a car there… The sensors are behind the line, and that is why the light isn’t turning and you are about to get a ticket for running a red light, which of course I will laugh at all the way home.

Bullying

I just watched three ads in a row slamming the same candidate, which of course followed a morning news piece on teen bullying. I wonder where the kids are learning their behavior…

Distracted Driving

When the news does a report on distracted driving, where do they usually do it? That’s right, next to the street…

Just Passing Through

As you are speeding along in your car to what is undoubtably a fabulous destination there is one thing you may want to keep in mind, if the local traffic is slowing down it may be a good idea to do the same.  Who knows the very road you are speeding down better than someone who travels it nearly everyday?  The condition of it during inclimate weather, the vehicle swallowing potholes, where the cops hide?